Dwight Howard has not played yet. He is out with literally a tender ass. The guy who begins in his…
Dwight Howard has not played yet. He is out with literally a tender ass. The guy who begins in his place, Ian Mahinmi, has played a total of 33 minutes in three games; He has made 10 mistakes and made a shot. The guy backing him up, Jason Smith, has a minus-22 net rating of 44 minutes and shoot 36 percent from the floor. The team’s best center right now is Jeff Green; They are, in miles, the worst rebounding team in the NBA. Meanwhile, Otto Porter has made 18 percent of his three-point trials, and John Wall shot eight percent from the outside of the arch. All this is to say: Washington Wizards have an extremely normal Washington Wizards season.
It will always be like this for the guides. They will always be a mess. Even most of the time they are always talking about the case of absurdist comedy. They are not the east’s bushy-tailed young boot anymore; They are the mutual older cousin of the startup that unexpectedly appears for the cake and everyone looks nervous and says “I did not know he was out already” and then you hear sirens at a long distance and realize that he has broken out of prison again. I do not know why it’s like this, but I’ve learned to accept it. They are my dear, sweet, chalk-munching basketball singers. I do not know what Macarong art is intended to portray, but I’m proud of them to paste more of the noodles into the paper than to their own hair.
They won last night! In overtime, in Portland, over a hot Trail Blazers team that had not lost a game yet. It’s something. Wall, Porter and Bradley Beal are combined to miss 39 shootings in the game. Mahinmi left back spasms in the first quarter and did not return ̵
1; but before that he made two mistakes in four minutes and scored a three-point attempt from the top left corner of the back plate. At one point, the crazy eye Kelly Oubre missed a dunk and the ball deflected Peer’s face and went beyond the limit. In some way, at the end they had more points than Blazers. I do not ask why! I’m just relieved that they do not swallow their own tongues.
Markieff Morris hit career high six pointers in 10 tries; Al-Farouq Aminu and Jusuf Nurkić continued to leave him, possibly for reasons, and he continued to hit them. He beat a big one at 1:40 left to give the guides a two-point lead and another with just over one minute left to break a tie of 105, and then two in overtime, including a 24-second dagger left to stretch a one-way lead to four and place the Blazers in panic mode. Oubre muscled in a tough and a 2:20 bucket left in regulation to wipe away a three-point Portland lead. And Beal, on his way to 25 points (out of 25 shots) made it to poor Aminu:
The wall does not show much fat because he is an extremely powerful and robust handsome orc-man now. He has a fun new LeBron ice-crush in his game, where when one of his first-stage signature crushing speed does not get him past his man, he slows into some sort of still very fast quasi-backdown dribble and bashes his way under the basket with his newly widened shoulders, then use the rim to protect itself from shot blowers. In one way, he used this new dragon to great effect last night against soft defenders like Damian Lillard and Nik Stauskas, as it resulted in several attempts at blank shots. In another sense, he shot 5 to 19 from the floor.
But whatever! The wizards won! Lillard drove three-fourths of the floor’s length in the last seconds for what would have been the game-winning setup but Porter, who had five mistakes and missed all four of his three-point trials and has a terrible start in the 2018-19 season, one of his infinite, hopeless noodles from there and threw it away, and that was it.
The wizards are 1-2 now, they are in Oakland to face the war arena tomorrow night, and they will lose 75,000 points. But I bet that their sweaters will be fair!