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Marriage counseling for conflict resolution using effective communication skills | Engracia Gill

Fighting hands but you can avoid many of them. There is much advice on marriage out there, but if you want some tips on how to stop fighting so much, you need to start with effective communication skills for conflict resolution. Learning different successful conflict management styles is a skill that can make or break a marriage and is therefore extremely important. But the good news is that we can learn how to improve our communication skills. [embedded content] RELATED: Why some couples are struggling by the way – while others are crashing and burning "It takes two to tango", after all. So when a partner moves into conflict management, the other usually follows or can coaxed to follow. Couples with excellent conflict resolution tend to "wow" most of us. From the outside they see everything – romance, friendship, loyalty and many other enviable qualities in their married life. From the inside looks like a successful long-term couple can tell you, "wow" factor took a lot of hard work. Like most married couples, one hopes for a marriage without conflict. Any authority in marriage will tell immediately, it is not realistic or even desirable. Conflict is a fundamental purpose of long-term partnerships. It is a door to emotional honesty. To keep the door open to emotional honesty, it is necessary to first accept this inevitability: conflict is inevitable and even necessary. Many partners have problems with that concept because their stress hormones climb to uncomfortable heights. It is to know…

Fighting hands but you can avoid many of them.

There is much advice on marriage out there, but if you want some tips on how to stop fighting so much, you need to start with effective communication skills for conflict resolution.

Learning different successful conflict management styles is a skill that can make or break a marriage and is therefore extremely important. But the good news is that we can learn how to improve our communication skills.

RELATED: Why some couples are struggling by the way – while others are crashing and burning

“It takes two to tango”, after all. So when a partner moves into conflict management, the other usually follows or can coaxed to follow.

Couples with excellent conflict resolution tend to “wow” most of us. From the outside they see everything – romance, friendship, loyalty and many other enviable qualities in their married life.

From the inside looks like a successful long-term couple can tell you, “wow” factor took a lot of hard work.

Like most married couples, one hopes for a marriage without conflict. Any authority in marriage will tell immediately, it is not realistic or even desirable.

Conflict is a fundamental purpose of long-term partnerships. It is a door to emotional honesty. To keep the door open to emotional honesty, it is necessary to first accept this inevitability: conflict is inevitable and even necessary.

Many partners have problems with that concept because their stress hormones climb to uncomfortable heights. It is to know how to deal with the stress during conflicts that are necessary.

Couples who quite silently avoid conflicts must learn to fight again, according to Dr. Sue Johnson, author of Hold Me Tight a Practical Guide to Couples Learning to Connect at a Deeper Level.

Couples who have a habit of avoiding conflicts coexist side by side without a deeper connection so they have to learn to fight again so that their battles will burn the emotional honesty and passion again.

There are also uninvited emotions that emerge during heated exchanges between partners that make conflict management impossible. These painful feelings are contemptuous and blame.

So, stepping away from hanging on these feelings and keeping communication respectful is extremely vital.

Couples who know how to handle conflicts without slipping into ugly battles achieve a magical balance.

With this, there are five ways to improve conflict management and effective communication skills in your marriage.

first Clearly Define the Conflict

As with any argument, disagreement or misunderstanding, rabbit leaders tend to happen. After all, in the heat of a conflict, it is not uncommon to quickly “see red”.

As a result, you may be tempted to raise previous arguments or even high piles of minor problems beyond the current conflict. Of course, this brings the problem together, which makes the current conflict as clear as clay.

Instead of going in 1000 directions, try to use clarity and define the conflict at hand. In addition, it makes a habit of only dealing with one or two problems at a time per session. Something about this is a recipe for disaster.

2nd Focus on solving the problem

Along with defining the actual conflict, be sure to focus on solving the problem. When it comes to dealing with a conflict, it is easy to finger or throw the debt. You can even start nit-picking at your partner.

This type of behavior stems from a general irritation or anger towards your partner. While it is quite natural to experience it, it can prevent you from solving the problem. So stay focused on the real issue.

RELATED: The two different conflict resolution styles – and what your saying about your relationship

3. Practice empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand your partner’s feelings. Remember that understanding is not the same as agreeing.

When you understand, you try to see things from their point of view. Trying to understand helps to feel a bit of what they may have known at the moment. The situation happened.

When practicing empathy, active listening is a valuable skill to employ. Active listening also helps to communicate with your partner that you understand them.

Also validates what they know. Your partner has the right to know what they think about you or not.

This can be a complicated process for them, consisting of past feelings that you do not know.

Confirms the feelings and feelings they share with you will do wonders for your relationship. Doing so will encourage you to be more open and vulnerable to each other, eliminating the stalemate.

4. Make Forgiveness of Habit

Let’s get this straight: forgiving someone has more to do with you than them. It releases negative and harmful emotions to prevent them from accommodating you inside and corroding your whole being.

In a marriage, it is a good idea to forgive habit. Otherwise you go around and around as a boxer in a battle ring. Once you and your partner have resolved a conflict, choose to let it go.

It is wholeheartedly thoughtful of the thought of forgiveness and forgetfulness. It is probably one of the most difficult parts of marriage.

5th Let the Little Things Go

Couples who handle many conflicts tend to struggle for small things like dirty dishes or socks on the floor.

This is not to play down how important “small” things are in a marriage. However, there is an approach for this – struggling over dirty dishes in the sink doesn’t usually be a struggle for dirty dishes in the sink. Not really, anyway.

By getting to the core of the conflict, you can eliminate the external noise of stupid things like socks or dishes. In fact, they tend to bend you less and less the more you address real problems in your relationship.

When you learn to let small things go, it has a way to illuminate the relationship of the core so that you can come back to the heart of your marriage.

RELATED: Why Avoid Conflicts is a very bad sign of a relationship (not a sign of strength)

Engracia Gill is a counselor and therapist. To give you an idea of ​​how she helps her customers achieve their goals, visit her website.

This article was originally published on engraciagill.com. Reprinted with permission from the author.

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