Customized from a new online discussion. Dear Carolyn: My boyfriend and I are both 19 and we will have our…
Dear Carolyn: My boyfriend and I are both 19 and we will have our 5th anniversary this summer. We have dated long distance all the time. To celebrate this milestone we go on an overnight trip.
My parents suspect this strongly. I told them about the trip immediately after I booked it and have been honest the entire process, but there seems to be a line for them. They have always been very protective for me and my sisters, but I do not know why this is particularly difficult, because I have traveled on my own internationally and my boyfriend stayed with me for a weekend at college. [1
9659004] I know my boyfriend and I have shown us to be in an older and healthy relationship, but my parents still do not like me to participate in anybody.
Recently, my mother said that if we continue this trip, we will endanger my boyfriend relationship with her and my father in the long run. Every adult I trust in addition to my parents (rabbin, therapist) has told me that it is okay for us to take this trip and I do not think that my mother threatened my boyfriend, but at the same time I love my parents and I don & # 39; I do not want to make things difficult – life is tough as it is.
– Travel Issues
Travel Issues: I think you have a tough choice there.
And I think 19 is a good age to make a tough adult decision, one between two things that each cost you something you value. All you can do is calculate your values and priorities, decide your decision and accept the consequences.
Whatever you decide, it’s generally good not to cry emotional threats.
Dear Carolyn: My husband and I do the chores we like or at least do not hate at all, and the workload seems quite evenly divided. However, I have noticed that many of these chores seem to fall after traditional gender roles.
Our 3 year old already seems to believe dads do not cook and mothers do not drive. We do not need to blow up our entire system, do we? Do we teach obsolete ideas?
Gender Role: No and no. It works. And that’s all you need to say: “It came out like this in our family, but all families are different.” Repeat until it goes on self-satir and you are doing well.
Hello Carolyn: I have a good problem to have, but I’m still struggling with. After a divorce and more than a decade of being single, I have unexpectedly begun to see an old friend, and that’s amazing. I have no doubt that our relationship is real and very healthy. It is more thought that something so unexpectedly good has happened to me, so I vary between mistrust, shock and happiness. Without complaining, my life has not been so easy, and I guess I feel I have to work extra hard for the good things in my life. How do I get across the feeling that I do not deserve this happiness?
– Incredible Condition
Incredible Condition: If you do not, who will? Real question, not rhetorical.
Congratulations to you both.
Write to Carolyn Hax at [email protected] Get her column delivered to your inbox every morning at wapo.st/haxpost.